


Don't quit me just yet

by drugsins



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Fights, M/M, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-08
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-22 19:53:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/917391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drugsins/pseuds/drugsins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Of course Harry is crying; his body spasming as he tries to keep everything in, not seem weak in front of him. But it's too late anyway.</p><p>or the one where Harry is broken and Louis realises he can't try to fix him anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't quit me just yet

**Author's Note:**

> ¤ find me on tumblr at drugsins ¤

He steps into the house, throwing the door open furiously which bangs loudly behind him as he shakes the hard and cold drops of rain from his clothes and hair. His eyes are wide and angry, on the verge of crying, as he gets his shoes off quickly and sprints up the stairs towards his bedroom, body shaking and shivering as his hands try to hold on onto the railing but failing miserably.

Everything hurts, from the back of his spine to the top of his lungs and of course heart. He can't breathe, the warm air from the house suffocating him as he runs as fast as his legs carry him, often tripping and almost falling. He has to get there before he finds him, before he ruins him again. His head snaps back on instinct, not really being able to see anything, as he hears the front door thump loudly.

"Where the fuck are you, you fucking bastard?" Louis' voice fills the house as he breathes heavily, sounding two octaves higher, still trembling from the cold of the pouring rain outside. 

Harry hears his hard steps through the living room and he gasps; he has to get away. Run, fall and stand up again but get as far away as he can from him. But where can he go now? Where can he go _anywhere_? He's trapped, he's always been. Louis owns him body and soul, mind and heart but he still fights. For his freedom. For his own peace. For himself. But it's in vain, he knows it. Still he puts up a fight. 

"Harry, don't do this! You're only making it harder for both of us."

Soft whispers in the dark hallway as he still runs and it seems like the house is infinite; why is his vision so blurry suddenly? Why does his chest feel as if it's been punched and turned inside out? Why is he crying?

He finally fumbles with the handle of a room, he's not sure which one, and he enters it with force, back pressing against the door and sliding down, his legs long in front of him.

"You fucking piece of shit, I'll still find you!"

He trembles in the dark as he hugs his knees tightly, hot tears spilling onto his black jeans and his forearms. He should move. He should run further, closer to his escape. But where? There's only four white walls pressing closer onto him making him dizzy and claustrophobic. There's no air in the room as he hiccups painfully, trying to remain silent. He can hear banging and swearing outside the door and he can feel himself getting sick. He's so close to getting away from here, from this person that's taken everything from him without permission, without mercy and never had the kindness to give them back. He hated him. He despised him, wished he were dead, never here, wished to never have existed, never have met him. But what do you do when your mind gets all fuzzy and your heart screams _I love him, I love him, I love him_ ? Harry covers his ears and gulps trying to erase every thought and feeling he's ever had but is that possible? 

The boy opens his eyes into the darkness and is met with silence. No screams, no footsteps, nothing. He slowly retrains his hands from his ears and tries to stand up just as the handle of the door is clutched lightly and a broken voice whispers "Harry.."

His heart starts beating erratically, suddenly shaking and sweating and he doesn't want to stand up anymore. He can't face him. Can't look him in the eye and say.. what? _'I wish you would've left a long time ago!'_ And then suddenly break down into painful sobs and shout erratically through painful tears _'Don't ever leave me, do you fucking hear me??'_ as Louis would hold him tightly in his arms and whisper comforting things into his ear. They've done this too much, they're exhausted and pained and tired.

"Please open up." Louis' voice pleads once more softly as Harry still can't move, lost into thought and emptiness. He blinks and stands up with effort, wiping his hands nervously on his jeans, back facing the still closed door. He goes to look through the window as the silence still engulfs him, the room still empty.

Louis is waiting, is breathing hard, is trembling with everything he feels and he doesn't know if he can handle this anymore. He wants to enter the room and hit him, beat him up until he's a bloody mess, until he's crying and his eyes are bruised and hopeless. He wants to enter and kiss him hard, his hands creeping under his shirt, caressing the soft skin there, as Harry's own hands would come and lock behind his neck kissing him vigorously back, eyes closed. He would back them onto the bed or any other rough surface and he would get the boy undressed in a few seconds; he would forcefully pound into him until he would claw at his back, leaving dark, bloody marks he would feel the next day. And he would gasp and shiver and hold tightly onto the broken body underneath him as the boy would hold on onto him too; because that's what they are. Broken. Ruined and betrayed. Harry would cry and scream in pain, or probably pleasure, but he would never tell him to stop; he would push himself back onto Louis and would follow his rhythm, whichever that would be. Because he clings to him. His pulse point and source of life. Louis would bite his collarbones hard and breathe heavily into his neck as he would chant erratically _'I hate you so much.'_

And with that Harry would become desperate, soft sighs and hard moans escaping his mouth as he would finally lose control. He would beg for more and fasten his movements, urging Louis to follow and he would, giving him whatever he wants as he would keep licking his earlobe and whisper, chest tight and tears long ago spilling hotly into the boy's curly hair. _'I wish I could just stand up and walk away one day, leave you the fuck alone to be ruined all by yourself. I wish i knew how to fucking quit you.'_ And then Harry would come so hard his vision would go all blurry, as his eyes would sting from his heavy crying. His mouth would open into a shout as his entire body would shiver and hurt. Louis would kiss his forehead, still gasping and saying incoherent things as he would come too, filling Harry up completely, marking him as his own, his best friend, his lover, his life. And then they would fall asleep tangled together trying to forget about everything but never actually being able to do so. Because they're disfunctional. They could never forget, they could never work; but still they're each other's air. Harry would whisper a soft _'I forgive you'_ and then maybe everything would become easier for a moment, maybe they could pretend to forget.  


But as Louis stands there in front of the door, he knows he can't do either of these things. He shudders as he hears muffled gasps from the other side of the door. Of course Harry is crying; his body spasming as he tries to keep everything in, not seem weak in front of him. But it's too late anyway. Even if he feels as if his heart shatters to a million pieces, Louis lets go of the handle and steps back. He watches the door calmly for a few more seconds and listens to the sound of Harry, suffering without him, but because of him. 

"I'm sorry."

It's whispered and broken but he's sure Harry hears it as he turns around and goes down the stairs, exiting the house for the first time this way,  but finally permanent.


End file.
